Expressions of love:
L: Mommy, this is my favorite place on your cheek to kiss you.
B: Aww, thanks.
L: It’s soft and cute and it smells so good, like a rose!
L: Mommy, I love you and Daddy so much!
B: We love you too, Baby!
L: But I love you sooo much. I love you more than soccer! And superheros! And even more than kitties!!
L: Mommy, when I’m older and live with my wife, you can visit me every day.
B: Can I get that in writing?
L: Sure, Mom, no problem.
B: Can I call you “Cute Cheeks?”
L: Well, sometimes.
L: Maybe just at home because otherwise it might be kind of embarrassing. Also, not if someone is here for dinner.
Boys will be boys:
L: Here you go, Mommy [puts a tiny, unidentifiable object in my hand.]
B: Um…thanks? What is that?
L: I don’t know. I found it in my pants.
L: [whispering]. Hey Daddy…
L/J: [Loud whispering and peals of laughter]
L: Shhhh! Don’t tell Mommy! She thinks poo-poo is gross and not funny!
A window into the soul of an introvert:
L: Mom, kids are a lot easier to meet than grownups.
B: Oh yeah? Why is that?
L: Grownups get really excited to meet kids. It’s a lot to handle. And they’re big. Kids are much smaller and less excited so they’re easier to meet.
Can someone else answer these questions?
L: Mom, does God know the future?
B: Yes, I think he does. [Additional explanation attempted].
L: Oh. Mom, are there bad guys in heaven?
L: Also, do people who don’t know God go to heaven?
B: [Gives a woefully inadequate answer]
L: How can God and Jesus be the same person?
B: [Tries to explain with a metaphor]
L: And Mom, one more thing..
B: [Bracing myself…]
L: Can you imagine if there was a banana peel on a big patch of ice? It would be soooo slippery!! HAHAHAHAHA!
L: Mom, summer is my favorite season. What about you?
B: Summer is my favorite season too!
L: After summer I like spring best, but fall is only my third favorite, because it’s a little droopy.
L: I’m going to tickle Daddy’s ear ball.
B: Do you mean earlobe?
L: No, I call it an ear ball.
B: Well I call it an earlobe. Because that’s what it is.
L: No! Mom! Pretend you don’t want to and call it an ear ball, because that’s what it looks like. Trust me, it’s better.
J: Uncle Greg almost missed his plane home! I fell back asleep after my alarm went off and he forgot to set one.
L: Oh man, if Uncle Greg missed his plane and stayed in Florida, Aunt Tina would have to get a new husband. And that’s expensive!